How We Survive

If we are fortunate,
we are given a warning.

If not,
there is only the sudden horror,
the wrench of being torn apart;
of being reminded
that nothing is permanent,
not even the ones we love,
the ones our lives revolve around.

Life is a fragile affair.
We are all dancing
on the edge of a precipice,
a dizzying cliff so high
we can't see the bottom.

One by one,
we lose those we love most
into the dark ravine.

So we must cherish them
without reservation.
Now.
Today.
This minute.
We will lose them
or they will lose us
someday.
This is certain.
There is no time for bickering.
And their loss
will leave a great pit in our hearts;
a pit we struggle to avoid
during the day
and fall into at night.

Some,
unable to accept this loss,
unable to determine
the worth of life without them,
jump into that black pit
spiritually or physically,
hoping to find them there.

And some survive
the shock,
the denial,
the horror,
the bargaining,
the barren, empty aching,
the unanswered prayers,
the sleepless nights
when their breath is crushed
under the weight of silence
and all that it means.

Somehow, some survive all that and,
like a flower opening after a storm,
they slowly begin to remember
the one they lost
in a different way...

The laughter,
the irrepressible spirit,
the generous heart,
the way their smile made them feel,
the encouragement they gave
even as their own dreams were dying.

And in time, they fill the pit
with other memories
the only memories that really matter.

We will still cry.
We will always cry.
But with loving reflection
more than hopeless longing.

And that is how we survive.
That is how the story should end.
That is how they would want it to be.

                             

When I have no one to turn to
And I am feeling kind of low,
When there is no one to talk to
And nowhere I want to go,
I search deep within myself
It is the love inside my heart
That lets me know my Angels are there
Even though we are miles apart.

A smile then appears upon my face
And the sun begins to shine.
I hear a voice, so soft and sweet
Saying, 'Everything will be just fine'
It may seem that I am alone
But I am never by myself at all.
Whenever I need my Angels near
All I have to do is call.

An Angel's love is always true
On that you can depend.
They will always stand behind you
And will always be your friend.
Through darkest hours and brightest days
Our Angel's see us through
They smile when we are happy, and will cry when we are blue..

Thanks for being my Angel my friend
I will be there for you until the end.

Dear Patrick,

To one of my precious Angels, I am sorry I have not written on your site. I am starting and trying to get back to all of my angels and my Joey. You are always in my prayers everyday.
Your Mom is such a special lady. No matter if she is having a good or bad day she will always write to Joe. I am so sure you and Joey are such good friends, and you guys are looking and caring for us as you try and give each and evryone some strenght. What a wonderful person you are, and special.
When I go on your site, I always read it, all the time. There are so many love ones, that love and miss you. You will always be in their hearts. Just like my Joey, he has left so many friends, and families, that love and miss him everyday. I just have to get my health a little better and I will be back writing to you and all the other families and their love ones. I miss all the new families that I have made. They are my true friends, and I just feel so honored that I can call them that. Your Mom never misses a day, when she writes, to my Joey, what a beautiful and wonderful human being she is. I can go on and on about her, but never forget, you are in my daily prayers, everyday and I will  be back writing to one of my beautiful angels.

Love,
Debbie/Joeys Mom DeMatthews